July 21

PATIENCE MONTH: DAY 21: “Life = a series of complex, inscrutable, events, relationships, that in turns, bring joy and grief. The only way to deal with Life when it becomes challenging is to flow with it, with graceful acceptance. Accept that there are and there will be imperfections. Deal with them, with faith, with patience, to the best of your abilities…and keep flowing…gracefully accepting what is and working calmly on what can be…”― A. Viswanathan

I loved this quote the first time I read it, and even more each time after. I really love that relationships are both joyful and grief-full. I have found this to be true. Relationships are, for me, the most challenging things to navigate.

Each of us has many relationships…family (both the original one and the ones we subsequently involve ourselves in via marriage, etc.), friends, co-workers, people we meet in childhood and as adults, people who provide service of some kind to us, delivery people, people we know from various activities we may be involved in, employees, employers, and so many, many more. Notice: I do not count people on social media. Those are NOT real relationships!

Too many do not know the difference. I am saddened by that. We also see those who believe they “know” people in meetings of 12-step recovery groups. Unless you are sponsoring them or being sponsored by them, this, too is false.

Really knowing others involves a great deal more interaction than most people know how to perform. That is one of the challenges of navigating relationships…actually showing up to be in them. Addicts are not particularly good at this. We want others to do all the heavy lifting and then reap the benefits. We are emotionally lazy.

I love that life is all of  these things listed in the quote. Feels like that is going on in spades these days. There are big shifts going on and people are not navigating them well at all. I learned a long time ago that being a grown up means I am responsible for MY side of the street and let others work on their side of the street. It keeps me focused on what I need to do or not do, and lets them off the hook from my opinions, feelings, etc. This is what grown ups do. Who knew?

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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