HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 15: “One should preach not from one’s rational mind but rather from the heart. Only that which is from the heart can touch another heart.” — Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica
One of the things that truly draws us to recovery is the sharing we hear in some meetings. The honest truth of who we are and how we act in life are testimony that resonates in the hearts of those who stumble in looking for peace.
I heard, as do all of us, I believe, the truth for the first time in so many early meetings. When a woman talked about her deep shame in one meeting I went to early on, it touched me in such a powerful way that I cried through the whole meeting. A couple of years later, I was able to tell her about that and she became my sponsor for a long time.
I knew then, when she could so freely talk about her life in front of hundreds of people, that I wanted that freedom. That ability to just say what she felt about herself in those circumstances. Her story had some parallels with mine, but that was not the point. It was the emotional honesty that hooked me. I did not know how to do that.
Of course, like most of us do, I became horribly honest for a time. I am still able to just talk about things that other people don’t feel comfortable with. It is not about what you think of me. It is that I DID receive the gift of being able to tell that kind of ugly truth easily and comfortably and the freedom from needing or wanting to impress others.
This is the gift of Step 6. Freedom from needing to impress others. I can honestly talk about my character defects, Ego that wants to destroy everything good and fine in my life, and the dishonesty that wants to cover it all up with a blanket of blaming YOU. Defense mechanisms that are formed in the kind of abusive life I had as a young child, and how I walk each day in learning to not let them run the show. How we can all learn to see life with a new lens and become the people we believe we are in our hearts. That is the gift of freedom and humility that come from the kind of honesty that really attracts others. I cannot impress others and be who I long to be. But I can be the best version of myself that I have learned from these steps to be and it will attract those who are looking for a new way to live. I love that!