May 5

INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 5: “You don’t have to walk on water, it’s how you walk on land.” ― Jason Crabb

This is a great quote for giving us back our human-ness. I tend to set myself up with remarkably high expectations of who and how I should be in the world. We all know that expectations lead to disappointment.

Rather than disappoint myself in how I am in the world, I accept that I am going to fail when I believe myself to be more than human. I am here to learn to walk with integrity…to learn…oh yeah! I am not done with this lesson yet. I have fallen far short many times, and there will be no walking on water for me in this lifetime.

Which is perfectly okay when I think about it. The responsibility for being more than human would be a huge burden I don’t care to shoulder. Ego says it is true, so I know right away that is a setup.

I do, however, want to set a good example of what recovery really looks like. That is important to me and has been since I got here. My words do not show that, just my actions.

This is the test of recovery for me. To BE the best person I can possibly be under any and all circumstances, no matter the stress, no matter the pressure, no matter how others are behaving. It is a testimony to the days when I wanted to do what “all the other kids” were doing. I remember, as so many of us probably do, the all-time refrain of parents everywhere…”If all the kids were jumping off a cliff, would you do it too?” Ugh!

But I get it today. I don’t want to be a lemming. I don’t need to follow the crowd or be “one of.” I want to walk MY path, travel MY journey, live MY life…and so far it really looks different than what “all the other kids” have been doing. I am okay with that today.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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