March 3

FAITH MONTH: DAY 3: “To have faith requires courage, the ability to take a risk, the readiness even to accept pain and disappointment. Whoever insists on safety and security as primary conditions of life cannot have faith; whoever shuts himself off in a system of defense, where distance and possession are his means of security, makes himself a prisoner. To be loved, and to love, need courage, the courage to judge certain values as of ultimate concern—and to take the jump and to stake everything on these values.”― Erich Fromm

When I got to recovery, I was so locked in the prison of fear and Ego and addiction. It was a terrible hamster wheel that kept spiraling downward and I could not see the way to get off. I did not know then that there were two components that would save me. The first was to become willing to stop using and drinking. The second was to embrace a lifestyle where I would learn to replace Ego with Spirit.

And, of course, that is a very simplistic view of how this all works. Because there are no ways to become safe and secure against life, we cannot find that path anyway. Fearing change is the killer of all spiritual life. It is how Ego controls us and keeps us locked up in old ways and old ideas.

Sadly, this is the human condition without a spiritual aspect to it.

As we allow ourselves the benefit of spiritual connection in Step 3, we are asking for a path that is NOT of our own making. This sounds scary when Ego is involved in the decision. Otherwise, it is the only possible route out of the prison of Ego, Self and addiction of any kind.

If we are still addicted to being in charge, that Will is going to kick our asses. It happens all the time. We do not get to drive the bus in any way in our life. When we do, there are some heavy prices to pay. We may not relapse into addiction, but we are already spiraling into another one. Control. It is heady stuff, driven by Self and Ego.

Learning to let go completely is the challenge and the path of all of us. The early times are just about learning to follow direction and stay away from drugs and alcohol. After a year or two, it is about aligning our will with that of the Universal Power. From there on, recovery is a series of letting go and allowing life…over and over and over. The more I do this, the better my life gets. I still know only enough to create havoc and destruction and misery in my life. Universal Power knows so much better what I need to be truly happy, joyous and free!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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