March 2

FAITH MONTH: DAY 2: “Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can’t always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays to just have a little faith.”― Lauren Kate

I would only change one word of this quote. Instead of “sometimes” I would say “always.” I may have an idea of what I would like to have in my life, but my insistence on designing outcomes has never served me well.

I have great personal evidence of the best and highest I have ever received, and it may spring from hard work or desire on my part, but it is always brought into my life in miraculous and out of nowhere. I cannot remember one thing that was beautiful and right that came from my machinations. I have always been able to work hard toward a goal, but manifestation is always a product of Faith.

Step 3 tells me to let go of the steering wheel of my life and let a Power take it. I arrive at my destination with a great deal less stress and drama than I could have imagined. And the trip is a great deal more enjoyable.

I have seen this happen in relationships, in work situations, in finding places to live…remember, I have done THAT 21 times since I came into recovery. It is so much better and smoother and lovely when I don’t arrange things. I can organize and make lists and show up to look at places, but it always flows when I let Universal Power take over.

There was so much confusion for me when I got here about Step 3. I did not believe I could allow anything or anyone to have Power over my life. I had so much trauma around people who had abused their power in my life that I was never going to relinquish control.

Step 3 began to work on me right away. I could see that and began to trust that I was loved by this entity, because miraculous events began on Day 1. Many of them. And I could feel and see them! It is still like this. I call myself God’s favorite Kid because it fits better than anything else. I did not see that coming in those early days…it snuck in over these years in ways that are breath-taking and astonishing to live inside. I love that!