February 28

HOPE MONTH: DAY 28: “No. Don’t give up hope just yet. It’s the last thing to go. When you have lost hope, you have lost everything. And when you think all is lost, when all is dire and bleak, there is always hope.”― Pittacus Lore

And most of us are testimony to this quote. I know I am. At the most completely bleak moment in my life, all I could wish for was for it to be over. I only wanted to die.

I did not know it was due to addiction. Never occurred to me. I believed it was that the drugs and alcohol were my only friends and they were pissed at me.

Circumstances felt so desperate and horrible. All of it…everything. And I got to the place where I was slowly  trained in 12-step recovery. Wow!

The meetings made no sense at first. None! I could not grasp that not drinking and using drugs was a solution. (It isn’t!) But that they were the basis for beginning a new life. Oh! That they interfered with a spiritual path. Oh! That there was something connected to my drug and alcohol use (a bad tool/Ego defense) and that there were WAY better tools for life. Oh!

Today, nearly 34 years after…what a fabulous life I have had! All of it! Every day is new and exciting because of Hope. Because of the manifestation of dreams I never even knew were in me. The unfolding of a life I did not even dare to wish for has come to pass. Beautiful!

I did not know how much love my heart could hold. I did not know how happy I could be…almost all the time. Even in the midst of what others might call tragedy, I am blessed with an abundance of gratitude and peace and joy. I can step out of ME and allow the world in…that took some work!

Life does not revolve around ME any more. Who knew how much pain that would alleviate? Wow! I am so grateful for the hope of life today. It just goes on and gets bigger all the time.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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