HOPE MONTH: DAY 17: “Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set upon yourself. Believe in yourself, your abilities and your own potential. Never let self-doubt hold you captive. You are worthy of all that you dream of and hope for.” ― Roy T. Bennett
There have been two very challenging times in my life. One when I was 8 years into recovery and another when I was 25 years into recovery. Both periods lasted over a year. The first one was powerful because, coming out of it, all the work I did in that period was manifested into one of the best times in my life within 2 years. Same with the latter period.
I was compelled by circumstances to do deep spiritual work on Kelly. There was no escape, so I did the work and see the results today.
This involved me stepping outside what I had learned about a spiritual life up to that point and really jumping off the proverbial precipice in sheer faith that it would afford me wings or a safe landing. I had nowhere else to go.
I really developed my spiritual practices and beliefs were strengthened during these two periods. Both of them came out into a vista that was so much broader than I had enjoyed going in. This is the way of life. We come to emotional tunnels where all else drops away and we are forced to walk through them in ways that did not seem possible just the day before.
There is nowhere to go; we must keep moving forward. I have never entertained the idea of drugs and alcohol or old ways of being as solutions to these times, nor at any time since recovery began for me.
The first time, I spent many, many hours reading inspirational books and literature from people I had never studied before. I reached deeply into the place where I lived, which was a small rural town, in the days before the internet and spent most of my time in used bookstores and the little library. I had no financial resources, so needed creativity to get these books. It all happened in Divine ways. Reading and hiking have always been my go-to things to do when money is not abundant. The Universe wisely removes it from me at times so I can remember that these things are not for sale if I am mindful about finding them. I love that!
Hope was with me. I felt uplifted and supported in ways that I do not always get. Each moment was big and poignant. That is a spiritual way of life. I have learned it when I needed it most. I never felt completely alone unless I lived with Ego. Did not happen much. I am grateful for these teachings and the miraculous outcomes from both tunnel times.