February 8

HOPE MONTH: DAY 8: “So don’t be frightened, dear friend, if a sadness confronts you larger than any you have ever known, casting its shadow over all you do. You must think that something is happening within you, and remember that life has not forgotten you; it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall. Why would you want to exclude from your life any uneasiness, any pain, any depression, since you don’t know what work they are accomplishing within you?”― Rainer Maria Rilke

Every human has down days, days of getting told “No” by the Universe, sometimes 10 or 12 times in a single day. We all get discouraged; all feel unhappy or out of sorts; we all get angry and upset. How we sit with these feelings will show the world (and us) how much recovery we have in our lives. Maturity is measured by how well we handle disappointment and being told No.

Not a fan myself, but I know that each No shoots me into the direction of the next Yes. So, I get to sit with feelings of discomfort or disappointment or anger or whatever, because these are all part of life and the human condition. I have to be mindful of how I respond to these feelings and whether or not I create some huge dramatic story around it all.

Sadness is part of life. We all go there. It is not necessary to medicate it or diagnose ourselves as depressed when there is sadness in our day, even if it goes on for several days. Life is very sad sometimes, and this, too is part of the journey. We are quick to want relief from these feelings because we think that doing what we are doing makes us exempt from emotional distress.

I have heard so many people say that they cannot believe they are having a difficult day, since they are sober  and all. WTF? Really? How on earth does that create, in your mind, the idea that you will not be sad or have LIFE happen to you in confusing and sometimes very challenging ways? I always laugh at this, which I suppose might be kind of mean, but really?

We are here to have a human experience and learn to grow spiritually. That means there will be big amounts of emotional stuff happening in your life…the news here is that you are finally able to show up to it! Being drunk and loaded is just like putting yourself on hold for a really long time and now you are on call. Get on with the living and learn to grow up and work through challenging emotions like a grown up. That, of course, is the point.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.


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