January 24

ACCEPTANCE MONTH: DAY 24: “Regret swallows broken men whole. Acceptance builds them anew.”― Sarah Noffke

This quote is wonderful! So many people sit in regret, rehashing the “shoulda dones, coulda dones, woulda dones” that they are frozen in suspended life. Nothing is happening TODAY. They miss the biggest portions of their lives, the most important things get left out, because they have their heads completely in that shit.

This happens, also with those who sit dwelling in “what happened,” forgetting to leave yesterday in yesterday. They stew and fret over so much that is unchangeable, not focused for one minute on how they can live NOW.

What a waste! Sometimes I get really frustrated with this form of Ego. How arrogant to think that what happened to us or things that we did are really that damned important! Geez…get over it and move on!

Most of you know that I work a lot with convicted felons, many of whom have been a party to the loss of life for another human being. This can weigh heavily with them, because they are tried and convicted of these crimes, hated and reviled by our social order, along with the bad treatment many of them experience in prison.

There is a lot more for them to move through. They have families and loved ones of their own whose lives are heavily impacted by this turn of events. They carry that one. And they have the added burden to work through of their “debt to society” along with the ongoing issues of the families and loved ones of those whose lives are lost forever.

This can be very dramatic to deal with. However, there is NOTHING to be gained by morbid self-reflection. There is NOONE being served by ongoing beating up of anyone. It does, as this quote states, “Swallow broken men whole.”

Learning to live with this level of having made mistakes is a challenge to anyone. Recovery demands that we get on with the healing, because we are not doing anything good for those who have been impacted by these actions by continual and ongoing remorse and regret.

My view is this: If Universal Power has seen fit to bring me to this place of recovery and healing, who the FUCK do I think I am to determine myself unworthy? That is always going to be my particular view of being stuck in regret and never moving through that to the side of healing. I am not here to judge my worthiness. I got my own shit. I am here to pick up the Grace, the ultimate Gift, given me by a far Superior Being and get on with living a life worthy of that healing and recovery. I truly see the path that was laid out for me on Day 1 of this journey. I have had the amazing gift of working with thousands and thousands of recovering addicts, no matter where I meet them. This is the work I came to do. The rest was just the qualifier I had to have to do the work at its most effective. I accept the Gift and I accept the recovery and healing, and I accept the work that must be done! It cannot happen when I am living in the remorse and regret of where I was yesterday or 10 or 20 or 30 or 40 years ago!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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