January 18

ACCEPTANCE MONTH: DAY 18: “I can’t explain that, except to say there’s release in knowing the truth no matter how anguishing it is. You come finally to the irreducible thing, and there’s nothing left to do but pick it up and hold it. Then, at least, you can enter the severe mercy of acceptance.”― Sue Monk Kidd

There are some incredibly poignant moments in life. We may give them emotional attachments like painful, scary, horrible, etc. But those are terms of Ego and attachment. From my experience, the more I label life with my emotions, the more off-center I become in working to gain spiritual perspective. I am skewing life to fit my perspective. It is better to work toward skewing my perspective to fit life. I believe that is the goal and purpose of these steps anyway.

One poignant moment I will never forget is sitting with my husband and two of his doctors on a particular day in June. We both had some emotions going on and were frightened, yet curious about what was going to happen. He was dying…there it is. I did not respond as well as he did. I took it very personally and immediately Ego jumped into play. I sat with thoughts and emotions that I did not want to have at that time. Thankfully, none of them were expressed.

I waited while he moved into acceptance, with swirling thoughts and emotions in my body. I could feel the war waging in there. Ugh! I am grateful that I was so moved by his responses that I jumped into the space he created around this situation. It was a gift of tremendous grace. I did not know that the next 8 months of my (and his) life would be such a tremendous training ground for me to wake up every day and live with a truth of ONLY that day. It was powerful and changed everything for me.

It was the happiest time of my life. I learned about love and life in ways I did not know were possible for me. I was transformed by moment-to-moment acceptance of life and love and the realities of what life are truly about.

I was able to fall more deeply in love, despite knowing I would lose him at the end of that time. It was not about my loss, but about stepping into those moments and being present to supreme joy and love. I fell in love with my life, my beautiful husband, and living into dying. What a great gift! And I long for the experience of THAT every day. It is not as possible, because I am not as consciously aware of the supreme NOW-ness of my moments. There are some, but others pass without my notice. My human failing.

This quote says it all…the “severe mercy of acceptance.” Living without whining through things that are too terrible when I get caught in Ego, and showing up for the challenge of doing life with no regrets and no story. What a great way to do this gig!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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