December 27

LOVE MONTH: DAY 27: “…and don’t expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.”― Rainer Maria Rilke

This, for me, along with the rest of this rather long poem, speaks of that thing I call Universal Power…that sense of belonging to something greater than myself, that transcends my limitations and sense of time and Life.

Love is what it is called here. I like that word. I like that this sense of Love is what I call myself when I refer to being “God’s favorite kid.” That may not be comfortable for many people, but it so explains what I know to be true.

I don’t have to wait on this thing, this sense of belonging to that Entity or realm, just access my heart as much as possible so that I can tune into it and feel it more strongly every moment of every day. Perhaps, it is stronger as we grow closer to that dying time that all of us approach, whether we acknowledge it or not. We are all going there. Some of us are minutes or hours away, others are days or months or maybe even years away. For so many, that sense of time will seem impossible to grasp.

For others, that sense of time will fly by as they “busy” themselves right out of life. With no sense or feeling of having actually lived. They call this loss.

I have never “lost” anything. I have had the good Grace to have been present to every minute of my life. There is nothing to grieve, because I have had the courage to show up and experience whatever is happening. I am so grateful for that Grace.

I have not missed anything. This fear keeps most people on the hamster wheel of doing instead of Being. Not being is the same as a Zombie-death to the life going on around us.

While I have never lost my enthusiasm or zest for life, I have been able to sit still with it nearly every day for the last 34 years. That is an amazing gift I did not even know to look for. Yay!

I have no expectations, not even for a deeper kind of understanding of myself. That comes, every day, when I sit in meditation and learn about this amazing Love. And feel it freely flowing into and through my life.

So many, many people have come to me and begged me to teach them how to be this way, to feel the things I feel, to have this faith that I have. Then I tell them how I got here, and they refuse to do what I did. That is so crazy! It is the road map to a joy that fills the Universe. And yet, they refuse to let go of their own fears and determination to do it their way, no matter how miserable it makes them. Wow! It is astonishing to me, and yet I can freely let them go to be who they insist on being. With love and understanding that they are not here to share my path, nor to even walk beside me at any point. It is all perfect. I love this life! I love you all!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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