October 21

DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 21: “The best measure of a spiritual life is not its ecstasies but its obedience.”― Oswald Chambers

I have spent a lot of time over these years in wondering why people are so dis-inclined to do what we are asked to do in these steps. What is it that is in our makeup that creates our disinterest and lack of enthusiasm when allowed to live this glorious life so easily?

We had to work much harder and suffer horrible grief and pain to stay loaded, and yet, when given these amazing opportunities to be happy, joyous and free, we equivocate and make excuses, rather than diving in and gaining full benefit from this way of life. Why?

Why are we not all motivated to do everything to be as free and happy as we can? I do not understand the seeming laziness of the addicts I meet. I do not understand the inherent lack of motivation to do anything for themselves and want it to come in a magic pill or ointment or hamburger.

What is that? Why do so many of us stay away from drugs and alcohol, but participate in this spiritual work so minimally? I know the first two or three spiritual experiences, which were deep and profound for me, were my motivation. I could not wait to do more and get more.

It was just the same as my first taste of cocaine. I could not wait to do more and get more. There is a deep parallel for me here.

And most addicts did their drugs like this, but evidently just don’t have that drive to recover to the same degree. There is so much settling for a mediocre and half-happy life that I am constantly shocked by how little addicts will do.

Do they truly believe there is nothing more available to them? I hear the BS thing of how “BUSY” people are all day, every frigging day. SO OVER THAT CRAP! No one has more important work to do in this or any other life. What that BS term means that I am more arrogant than others. I do more to NOT recover than they do. It is NOT a badge of honor, but everyone with that BS line thinks it is. It is a matter of priorities and discipline. We get what we do. Period.

I hear people tell me all day about how “spiritual” they are. Completely disconnected and running from one thing to another like a 10-year-old at Disneyland. No connection to anything, but afraid as hell they will miss something. And they DO! They miss the whole spectrum of spiritual gifts because they do not do the work. It does not come by osmosis. It is about the connection we get (OR miss!) with a spirit that rules this place and time and eternity. It does not come from a mantra or a rock or a place. It is INSIDE, and running around like that will not give it to us. As the old saying goes, “It IS an inside job.”

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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