DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 8: “True discipline is really just self-remembering; no forcing or fighting is necessary.”― Charles Eisenstein
The discipline of Step 10 should be something we all do every day as a matter of course. It is good manners to clean up our messes each day. I know I have ALWAYS known when I am bothered by something that happens in the course of a day. So, I want to be that kind of person anyway. It feels right.
Living without cleaning up my messes NEVER felt right. I always looked over my shoulder and knew I was not the kind of person I wanted to be. But, my focus was lopsided and skewed. I am not sure how this happens, but it did for me.
Once I got around this recovery thing, I saw that we were not trying to get “Good” or “right”, but that we were working to be the people we always knew we could be, but could not quite get to that point. The steps are the tools we use to clean ourselves up to be who we are here to be, not who we had been. And knowing how to stay clear of old ideas and using defense mechanisms as weapons against others is the key to all of it.
I don’t have anything to defend today. After all, they are EGO defenses, so what the hell good is any of that shit? Once I understand this, it makes all the crazy ideas my head comes up with to justify or explain my BS easier to work through to get to the place where I can say I am wrong and let it all go. Then I clean up my BS and move on with my day and my life. It is a great way to live and I know, every day, how blessed I am to have these simple tools for ongoing life and how awesome is that?
Step 10 is a beautiful thing, keeping me humble, teachable, and in the lane where I belong. I am happy to keep it around for use each and every day. And, as Mr. Eisenstein remarks, it truly has never felt like anything other than the right way to go. No forcing or fighting is necessary. I always knew before when I was wrong, and I can easily see it today. I do not want to live like a scared little asshole any more. And with this kind of discipline, I don’t have to.