August 21

COURAGE MONTH: DAY 21: “I nodded, pretending to be a hundred times more courageous than I felt.

But that was the thing about courage. Sometimes you had to fake it to feel it.” ― Lisa Tawn Bergren

I remember when I came in, and I share this all the time, in the hope that newer members will hear it, too, “Fake it till you make it.”

For me, this was a very important idea to share. I had to fake so many things for a while here. I had to fake it that I was an alcoholic. I did not truly believe it for a while.

I always have to fake it about being brave. I am not. I am not full of Coeur…heart. So I fake it. I say a prayer and pretend like I feel brave and move into the thing I have to do. It works. And coming out the other side, because the thing got done, I know my prayer is answered. Works every time.

I never get what I need before I need it. Just at the moment.

One of my early sponsors used to say that “God is never late.” And I used to laugh and tell her, “Yeah, nor is God ever early.” Always right on time. Right at the moment.

My early work in Step 8 was like that. I would try to pretend I was ready and willing to do this stuff, and then it would happen, and I would be AMAZED! Wow! Really??? So cool!

I continue to be surprised and happily so, that each of these steps, as they have unfolded in my life, over and over again, give me just what I need, when I need it. ! Yay! And I continue to be in love with the steps, forever and ever, over and over again…more every day. They bring to me those things I always wanted in my life. And I get to finally be the person I only dreamed of being so long ago. And living the live I always dreamed of living so long ago.

It is absolutely stunning how it happens and how little work I have to put into it. Most of the time, I am working only not to mess it all up…that is all…just BE and let the rest BE and what a great thing this all is!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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