May 8

INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 8: “Do not make loose promises. But, when you make a promise, keep it. Be true to yourself. Be dependable. Whatever you have to do, do it the very best you can. It is not the fuss and feathers that count; it is the hard, steady effort that makes the grade.” ― John A. Widtsoe

The most important sentence in this one, for me, is to be true to yourself. We are all doing the best we can. I truly believe that. A very kind friend listened to me beat myself up about something rather big in my life at the time. After I finished, she just looked at me and said: “If you could have done better, you would have.”

I loved it then, and have never forgotten. That is the best we can do. It is arrogant for us to beat ourselves up, because we are assuming we have superior information than what we have, or superior skills in doing things other than the way we do. That kind of self judgment has nothing to do with integrity. Nothing.

We are here to learn. Period. How we learn and what we learn is all part of our journey. I cannot determine what is mine to do and to learn, I just know I am not able to accommodate everything I want to be able to accommodate.

I find that my trust, once violated, is not easily won back. I am not able to be completely non-judgmental about dishonesty or lack of integrity with others. This comes from a deep place in me. I am okay with that. It just is the way it is. I can suspend judgment if it isn’t personal, but when it is, I cannot. I can let others be who they are, but I cannot allow that to be part of my personal life. I am okay with this. It is just the way it is.

In learning these things, I want to leave an open space for that to shift and change. Perhaps I can loosely allow things that do not feel personal. We shall see, as time goes on, how that works. I don’t make loose promises. I am careful to make only those that I know I am willing to follow through on. I learned something very interesting recently about this. I had a commitment to do something that I thought I would only enjoy if another person did it with me. I found that I thoroughly enjoyed it, even more so, because I was alone.

A new piece for me. I forget how much I love to do things like that by myself. I had so much fun and was happy I was on my own. It made a huge difference in how I did the entire thing. And so much less work! It will be my new happy place.

I have put a great deal of hard steady effort into my recovery. The thing is, I don’t have much time for those who don’t. I find that some new energy is coming into my life at this time. I am loving that. I am around some folks who are more in sync with me than those who have been here before this. I am happy to have this change. I know, because this has been a long journey, that I will feel the love and support of the Universe through any changes that are made in my life, no matter what!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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