HONESTY MONTH: DAY 10: “Acquaint yourself with your own ignorance.” ― Isaac Watts
This may not make sense in connection with Step 4. However, it really is all about understanding how little we know.
We are not very astute when it comes to recognizing that what we believe to be true for many years, even a lifetime, is wrong. Really wrong. We have understood life backwards and upside down for a very long time.
Inventory acquaints us with this idea. We are not happy about it and may spend years in the battle of who is right and who is wrong. That is the worst battle of a lifetime. And the truth is this: It does not matter. Never did. Never will.
What matters is that we step away from the old ideas we have held about life and learn to rethink ALL of it! All of it!
When we are able to let Ego be smashed in this manner, letting go of fear and knowing ANYTHING, we are going to experience freedom from EVERYTHING. That is going to be impossible for many, and they are going to need to drink and use drugs.
Others can let go initially, but keep grabbing it all back and spend a lifetime without being loaded, miserable and in the ego battles that brought them here to begin with. I have seen this a lot as well. It is a terrible thing to not have the ability to use and drink again and hang on to ego for so long. Brutal battle, as well.
Knowing anything is the problem. Letting go of that is not fun for the ego, but necessary for the spiritual growth that is possible around here. We see it a lot in recovery.
Old ways of dealing with life will be in constant battle with a spiritual path and will destroy all hope of peace, happiness and real living. Fear is the constant theme, along with denial in all its forms. These are the people who are so unhappy and miserable without recovery and without a drink or drug. They are constantly running from one thing to another to satisfy their restless and unpeaceful souls.
We must stop looking outside of US for solutions. They are inside of US. And when we are unable to sit still with what is inside of us, we are never going to be able to sit still with what is inside of us. Therein lies the problem, the ongoing ego that is restless, irritable and discontent. Sigh!