March 21

FAITH MONTH: DAY 21: “Most lives are not distinguished by great achievements. They are measured by an infinite number of small ones. Each time you do a kindness for someone or bring a smile to his face, it gives your life meaning. Never doubt your value, little friend. The world would be a dismal place without you in it.” ― Lisa Kleypas

I am this. There has not, nor will there be, anything great in my resume or history if it were to be written. I have a small piece of this life and allow it to fill me up. The things I have done have been done by many others, probably much better.

We all get to live our lives in corners of the world and be who we are sent here to be. There is some grandeur to lives of some folks I have known. The greatest among them may envy those of us with nothing to really puff ourselves up about. The simplicity of my life is its most appealing aspect, for me. I do not want to be a prom queen in any aspect of it.

There is nothing I need to be on stage for. I am not worth listening to in any way. I can share my experiences with those that may benefit from knowing what can be done if they want to know. I cannot reflect that back onto them in ways that are beneficial, but neither will I allow them to claim that I have something they must have.

It doesn’t work like that. We are each here to learn to make peace with our hearts and lives. I have done that. Anybody can. It is important that I never take credit for others doing what I have done. If they do, or can. It is their journey. When I don’t resonate with  that, I come to that fork in the road where I must wave them on their way.

This has been the course of my journey for all these years. There are no big achievements, but some forks in the road has a permanent mark upon my soul. Like leaving home at 17. Like some of the relationships that have ended when I was ready to keep them, no matter how bad for my soul they were. Like when my husband and my grandmother died. Like a lot of those.

All forks in the road. Thousands upon thousands of them.

The achievements occur when we successfully navigate the knowledge that it is time. It may not “feel” good. Only because there is sometimes an unhealthy attachment to ideas of what “could be.” I am very certain that is the thing that I come up against most often. The infinite number of times that those small achievements happen is due to the feeling of what comes after. A spaciousness and cleansing that I know is right.

I never doubt what is happening in my heart. It is always true. It is my broken ideas of life that are going to create doubt and uncertainty. Sometimes kindness isn’t what it seems to be. For me, the kindest thing I do is own what I know to be right in my heart. This is what I have to do each day, each moment, no matter what uncertainty my mind may create around it. Faith is an inside job.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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