FAITH MONTH: DAY 5: “Doubt everything. Find your own light.” ― Buddha Siddhartha Guatama Shakyamuni
When we come around this amazing 12-step recovery process for the first time (or the first 5000 times), we are unlikely to feel completely comfortable with our faith. No matter what it has been in the past, it is entirely likely that we do not have a deep enough connection to that Power, or we would not need to be so heavily identified with Ego that we are still in the throes of addiction.
Ego is the block that separates us from this Power. We are not the separator, it is always Ego. When the BB of AA tells us that “ego has to be smashed,” there is no exception to this.
Step 3 is all about making a decision. A new decision. Up to this point, Ego has been running the show. Whether we believe this or not is immaterial. Facts is facts.
The BB also refers to it as Self-will. Same thing. We are not capable of running the show. We are not qualified, because we do not know the Plan. That is a Universal Power. Not ours. So, if we do not know the Plan, we cannot move forward into the place we are supposed to be headed.
That requires us moving into and with a partnership with Universal Power to remain on the right path. This is the light we must have. It is going to be a bit different for all of us.
I am not now, nor have I ever been a follower or believer in anything like an organized religious path. I do not think most of us are. We are here to find our path. It cannot be dictated by any book, any other person or group of persons, or anything but the unfolding of our hearts in alignment with the Will of that Power.
So, when Buddha suggests that we doubt everything, I believe this is very good direction. Another way of stating this is “If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.” Anyone or anything claiming to know your path, or your way, is full of shit. Their doctrine may appeal to you on some levels, but be sure to ask all the questions and allow this to be done with a loose grip.
Rules and laws are funny things. While they give us boundaries and a sense of safety on some levels, they can be restrictive and confining on others. I am not a fan. I allow my path to unfold each day, with all the twists and turns and surprises that occur in the fascinating course of life.
My light is revealed to me in the most surprising of ways sometimes…a butterfly, a hawk, a rainbow, a baby smiling, unexpected money in the mail (just when I need it most!), so many things bring me to this connection with my Soul, my Spirit, my Path, my Guide. The ocean always does it, or the moon, or the sun, or the power and fury of a lightning storm. Almost always the natural world.
Your path will be what it is as well. Find your path. Follow it today. See where it leads you. Find it again tomorrow, if you are lucky enough to have one…if not, you are even luckier to be going home. Live it for today only. Leave the past in the past, you cannot carry it with you. Let it go and move forward. It is a beautiful way to live.