January 13

ACCEPTANCE MONTH: DAY 13: “It was being a runner that mattered, not how fast or how far I could run. The joy was in the act of running and in the journey, not in the destination. We have a better chance of seeing where we are when we stop trying to get somewhere else. We can enjoy every moment of movement, as long as where we are is as good as where we’d like to be. That’s not to say that you need to be satisfied forever with where you are today. But you need to honor what you’ve accomplished, rather than thinking of what’s left to be done.” ― John Bingham

If you only had this one day to live, what would you do? We all get caught in the dynamic of wishing for tomorrow and yesterday, forgetting to BE here, now. There is nothing else. We may love remembering, and that is fine, as long as we don’t spend our entire TODAY on it. There is always something for us to know in this moment.

I love that. When I was a little girl, I did not know this. I would wish to be older, and think that the life I was looking forward to was the best one I could get. There was a lot of crap going on at my house, and there were times I used to say exactly what Jennie did in Forrest Gump, “Please make me a bird so I can fly away.” It blew me away when I watched that movie. She and I had a lot in common.

There is a tremendous amount of joy in my childhood as well. It is important that I remember what I love about being a little girl, because it is the balance I must achieve in all of my life.

The stories are focused too often on the wrongs we encountered, not in gaining insight and wisdom from the learning they provided. There is nothing wrong or right about any of it. Just the experience and what it can teach us about ourselves and how accepting we are in this process of life.

There is nowhere to go, nothing to do, that is as important as just breathing and being. This is one of my challenges. I seldom allow life to just be life. I want to do stuff all the time. But I have learned to sit still and enjoy breathing and how my body feels when I breathe well and sit well, instead of running around and doing all the time.

I am not a runner any more. I missed it for a long time, because there is such exhilaration in running. I could not do it as a child, at least I was told that, because I had really bad asthma. But, running helped me heal it, along with swimming. They both built up my lungs to fight it off. Contrary action is like that. What I cannot do is sometimes the healing for the reason I cannot do it. Sitting still makes my actions much more mindful when I take them.

Today I am healing my leg, where I recently had surgery. It is so I can heal better. I have to sit still. This is a good day for that. I will allow myself that healing. And then I will love my leg and its ability to walk all over the countryside even more when I can.

And we shall see what comes in the stillness. I bet it is something new to know…

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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