December 26

LOVE MONTH: DAY 26: “The things we love destroy us every time, lad. Remember that.” ― George R.R. Martin

Our attachment to things, to ideas, to principles, to people are the source of a great deal of pain in this life. Along with the demands of maintaining them, we burden our lives with working to have them, to keep them, to buy new ones when they wear out.

Some folks are adept at NOT buying into this culture. They live simply and well, without having to work 80 hours a week or well past their retirement age to keep up with the neighbors or to feed their egos about how they “should” live, or where, etc.

I love shoes and pretty things, and have been willing to do what I needed to do to keep “things” in my life. I had to divest myself of thousands of books a few years back, because I had nowhere in my new tiny house to put them. This was an interesting process, because I loved my books! The stories and the learning in them was fabulous in my life. I was SO attached to that. What I know today is that I can re-read any of them digitally, rather than move crates of books around with me and take up a whole room in my home for their storage. The same thing happened with music at that time. In my early years, I had thousands of LPs, which I moved around for quite a few years, stored and spent a lot of time and money to maintain. Then came cassette tapes, and I spent a fortune replacing a great many of those LPs. Then came cds, so, again, I spent enormous amounts of money to replace the music collection. I kept a lot of the signed LPs and cassettes, because I had a lot of friends and acquaintances in the music business for many years.

So, I put all of this music on my computer and got rid of all but about 60 of my cds. That is a manageable amount for me. And I can digitally enjoy all of the music much more easily today this way. However, the amount of time and energy and money and moving, etc. is enormous over a lifetime.

I don’t believe I have been destroyed by this, but I certainly have been distracted. These things kept me from significant relationship with self and the Power that allowed for all of it to be created.

I listen a great deal less today, and read a lot less as well. I love to learn, but most of my time is spent today in emptying out. I want to approach life with a “not knowing”, more Zen way of being. Accumulation of things and information is not a life. It is the block that keeps life from me. It is a wall, a barrier, an ego-construct that isolates me from the world and its energies. I want to more be a part of the life I am here to embrace.

I still love music and books. But I am much more mindful of what I bring into my experience and how that feeds my spirit, rather than feeding my ego. I want to be able to let go of any and all of it whenever it may serve. (By the way, I have not once needed or missed any of those books or pieces of music. They still exist in the world. I just don’t have to have OWNERSHIP of them like I used to believe I did.)

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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