December 14

LOVE MONTH: DAY 14: “If a thing loves, it is infinite.” ― William Blake

Wow!! Biggest wow for some time…I am excited this morning. There was some kind of crack in the Universe that I slipped through during the night. I was so uncomfortable and disconnected yesterday, and I sat with it and sat with it. I was able to resolve a couple of things that were pestering me. Then, I went on with my day and eventually went to sleep last night.

I dreamt a very powerful Medicine dream and was so happy when I woke up, because I recognized the important message it brought me. And it was a very cool dream. Then, I was reluctant to get out of bed, even after I wrote and meditated and watched the hummingbirds for some time. It is cloudy and stormy out, so I stayed in my beautiful bed and was reading a book I came across and am enjoying immensely.

In it, the subject of dying is being discussed. Many of you know how much I love to discuss the subject of dying, even though it is so uncomfortable for most. Anyway, there was a single sentence that knocked me over. Not a new idea, or even a new sentence. BUT, today was the day my heart needed to be just right for this to hit me like a lightening bolt between the eyes. YAY!!!

The sentence was this: That when we die, we don’t GO anywhere. We just move out of the physical bag of bones we have been carrying around and become the Essence we always were and that was the inhabitant of that bag. OH!!! and OH!!! So happy I got this. It tells me everything! And Ram Dass has written for years (and spoken also) that his guru would ask him…”But where could I go?”

I have been so horribly indoctrinated with the idea that there is another place for us in spirit, Heaven and Hell and Purgatory (yikes!) and all that crap.

And NOW this…omg…not new information, but I grokked it SO MUCH!!! I have always known that there is a presence of so many people I have loved in this life. And their physical removal has not changed that. I have been crying off and on all morning with this one! I talk to people I love and feel them all the time. But not able to hug them in the physical sense we are familiar with, so believe I am “missing” them. But not really. Some of you know what I mean.

They are HERE! Just like I always believed, but could not articulate. Today I GOT IT SO WELL. And I am so happy and crying and shifted again. It has been building up for a few months, and I knew I was in the realm of another shift.

Today it came, and I cannot believe how uncomfortable and really sad I was yesterday…I am so grateful for the practices of mindfulness and being present to myself that I am working with today. They keep me plugged in to me, the only teacher I truly ever needed, but sometimes the last place I will go. My heart is exploded today. And the quote is perfect.

We are always infinite, as long as we love. And because we do, we never go anywhere…omg!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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