DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 7: “We have an obligation to ourselves to foster the environment that allows for our self-actualization. Rather than my gifts serving me, I must serve them. I want to be a steward of the best aspects of my character and assist them in their fulfillment through proper discipline and habits.” ― Chris Matakas
When we learn to live with our assets instead of living into our liabilities, we are happier, more fulfilled and living the life that we are here to live. We are living in accordance with the Will of the Power who is inspiring, guiding and giving us life.
Knowing who and what I am is the way that I learn to love and honor that Power. Knowing what I am thinking and why I need to shift some of my thoughts is the way for me to open the doors to the part of me who communes with that Power.
When I continue to hide any aspects of myself that are living within me, I am denying access to the Power and to the connection the 12 Steps are here to foster. As I let go of my ego definitions and defenses, I am led to those places where I can embrace the totality of my existence. That place is where I can fully begin to walk with that Power and live into that place it has open for me.
Discipline, as it applies to Step 10, is to continue to examine my behavior and attitudes, because they are driven by what I believe. As I examine and let go of old ideas and worn out thinking, I am led more fully into the Grace and spiritual life I am here to look for.
Knowing and loving Kelly is the goal. As I learn to do that, I let go of the anger and resentment and bitterness about the rest of life. It is not necessary for me when I am living in Spirit. And I want to live in Spirit. I can only love others and love life when I can fully accept and love me.
The less I am controlling and manipulating life and others, the less I have to guard against the Ego that drives this behavior. I want to walk away from all the drama and into the space of peace and solitude that Spirit embodies. It no longer matters where you are or what you think or how you behave when I am centered in quiet confidence with the Spirit.
I am not afraid, nor am I needy, nor am I desperate and alone. That is the beauty of this quest, it goes only one direction, inside. This is where I have always longed to live. I am grateful and at peace.