DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 4: “Discipline must be without control, without suppression, without any form of fear…It is not discipline first and then freedom; freedom is at the very beginning, not at the end.” ― Jiddu Krishnamurti
If I follow the discipline that I find in the 12 steps, then I must teach only that. I do not want to be responsible for disciplining anyone else. That is not the point.
The point is this: I have an amazing recovery practice. It works for me. When others appear to me and say “I want what you have” then I take them at their word. I can tell you that there are only a tiny, tiny handful of people who will ever get that from me. There have been (literally!) hundreds who have said that, but a very few who have done it.
No matter to me. I get mine. You get yours however you want. That is not my business. This discipline thing is internal, not to be handed down or out to anyone else. If you don’t have the discipline to do what I do, it is not on me. That is up to you and your Power.
Your recovery is 100% YOUR responsibility. What you get is going to be based on what you do. Period. I love what I am getting, so I keep doing what I am doing. I find that there are few who are not too lazy to do this level and intensity of work. It is kind of like being an athlete. There are only a handful who will put in the time and work required to excel.
There are very few people who will be brilliant in what they do. Most are complacent and will only achieve mediocre lives and mediocre health and mediocre recovery. It’s okay. That is what they settle for. I am a high achiever. I always want to be excellent at what I do and dedicate myself to. There is no middle ground for me.
Some recovering addicts are just marking time, doing the least amount of work they need to do to look okay. Their lives are like that. No exceptional disciplines and no exceptional outcomes. I want the love and peace and joy that I get from doing the tough work, the deep work, the intense work. And I do, and I do.
And the freedom is at the beginning. I did these steps in very early recovery and kept going. And still am, 32 years later. Over and over again. Never letting up on this stuff, because I don’t know where I begin, and it ends. It is all one piece for me now. And that is great! I love it! I cannot imagine ever being halfway immersed in recovery. Letting it be a secondary part of my life. It is ALL my life, a part of everything I do. There is nothing else for me, and I love it!