August 16

COURAGE MONTH: DAY 16: “It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as it does to have tried and succeeded.” ― Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Yes…it does. See, the thing is this…courage is the action. There is nothing required for us with the results. They are simply what happens when and because we take the action.

Courage is only required for the action. Not the results. And, that is why we can say that “nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake.”

When we take the action, we have achieved the courage we required to do that. It matters not at all that the results are what they are. Having taken the action is the requirement for us to have successfully done OUR part. We can only do OUR part.

See? There are no guarantees. If I do MY part, I am guaranteed that I did MY part, that is all. Outcomes lie in the hands of that Power in the Universe whose direction I seek to follow. I am often not going to follow that direction perfectly…or am I?

Perhaps the point is for me to take the action and NOT succeed as I believe I am supposed to. Perhaps there is more at work than what I know…duh! Ya think? Yeah, I do!

So, it matters not at all what the outcomes are of my actions. Get it?

So many folks don’t understand this. They don’t make their lists and they skimp on the amends step because they expect something that is NOT going to take place. No matter, you see? The only requirement for me to succeed is that I do MY part. Outcomes don’t matter. Yeah!

When I am working in any kind of relationship with another person, they get to be who they want, doing what they want to do. I have to accept that. And I get to decide if that is who I want to be in that relationship with. It may be a boss or a landlord or a friend or a sponsor or anyone. If the relationship is based on the “Potential” I see in someone, I am doomed.

I must do my part and allow the other person to do what they are willing to do to build the bridge that forms the relating part of the relationship. There must be common ground and we must both agree to that. If one or the other person is doing all the footwork, that is not a relationship, it is slavery or a hostage situation. We have A LOT of those in the rooms.

Step 8 is about ME doing MY part. No one has to do anything. They don’t…period. I make my list and it must be a righteous effort or I will NOT receive the benefit of knowing I took this step thoroughly. Remember back in Step 4 when we talked about thorough and fearless? It applies everywhere! All over these steps. Conditions are not okay. Completely thorough and fearless. No agendas for what may occur. Not up to you. Get it yet?

I love these steps. I love the absoluteness of them. And I love that every addict I have ever met has looked for the wiggle room to leave things out, to omit some information or part of the process. I love that there are NO LOOPHOLES anywhere in this thing. No excuses, NO LOOPHOLES! We either do this shit or we don’t…no half measures…oh yeah!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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