COURAGE MONTH: DAY 14: “True courage is about facing life without flinching. I don’t mean the times when the right path is hard, but glorious at the end. I’m talking about enduring the boredom, the messiness, and the inconvenience of doing what is right.” ― Robin Hobb
This is what we begin to practice when we start on this journey. We get to begin to learn what is right and what is not and DO those things that are right.
I always knew the difference between right and wrong. Drugs and alcohol allowed me to believe the lie I told myself that I didn’t care. The truth is this; and a man with many years of sobriety (who later ended up in a mental hospital because he could not follow this path); told me this when I was about 4 months into this deal: that we care A LOT…in fact, we care so much it is killing us!
So, I did care. I just told myself I didn’t and drank more and drugged more. That is why we are so screwed up when we get here. We have pretended for so long, we have a hard time with the truth, because it is overwhelming to deal with all that shit.
This step is all about telling the truth to ourselves and owning the shit we tried to tell the world about us. We begin to list those people to whom we consistently acted badly and lied to or wronged in every way we could come up with.
Once we cross that line, it gets easier to step further and further into that territory of F… It and never come back. Except we do. It haunts us and ruins our lives and we keep lying about it, but that is never going to help us.
So, we face this stuff head on. Today! And we get past it and stop the BS about them having done things to us that created the need for us to be assholes. Okay! I don’t like being an asshole. It wasn’t really okay then and it isn’t now. So, I have this step to give me the courage to take responsibility for my stuff and clean it up and STOP it!
Yay! And what happens now is that life is a bit more boring, I am not running from my lies and deceit, and I am living like I always knew deep-down that I wanted to. And I am happy for the first time, because I have nothing to hide and no one to appease or clean up stuff with. This is wonderful, and I am so blessed to have this life! Woohoo!