July 11

PATIENCE MONTH: DAY 11: “Amazingly, my impatience didn’t speed up the procession at all.” ― Amy Carroll

Hahaha…we have ALL been in traffic or waiting in line when it was not the right time for us to be delayed. Late for work, an appointment, anything can create stress and tension in us. Not good. Addicts cannot handle stress or tension. As the BB says about resentment, it is the luxury of others.

We must learn to leave softness around time, so that we can either arrive late or be inconvenienced without being a jerk. The rise in our temperament also takes a terrible toll on our health and spiritual development.

None of us have this down when we get here. We may pretend to, but that is usually going to mean that we are stuffing down the true feelings we have.

Believe it or not, it was great progress when I learned to voice and experience my impatience. I spent so much time smiling and pretending to be okay, because all I could do around here for quite a few years was to act as if. In reality, I was trying to look good and be something that was not truly authentic with what was going on inside me.

So, learning to express and experience our true feelings is a great step forward.

Most of us are terrible with this. We are so passive-aggressive that we cannot tell the truth, even when we want to. We use our egoic mind to judge what we are feeling and then pretend to be the person we think we are supposed to be. Ugh!

Not good. That will lead us straight into psychosis, a hospital or back to drugs and alcohol. We drink because we cannot handle the stress of being inauthentic with ourselves. This is a tremendous opportunity for us to learn to be REAL.

Not good or loving or anything else…just REAL. And when we get REAL, we find that we are in full use of a LOT of character defects because they begin to be let out of the closet.

When I watch old movies or read books about those who have gender identity issues, I see that SO MANY people have, over the course of many lifetimes, been horribly abusive to themselves by pretending to be what others believed they were supposed to be. I work with a lot of people who are going through divorce, because we cannot stay in recovery when the marriages and lives inside our homes are so incredibly NOT what we are here to do.

Does not matter what we believe about any of this. What DOES matter is that we learn to own our shit. Whatever it is. Be authentic or it will kill you. No one ever has or ever will abuse you the way you do. It is never going to be spiritually beneficial for you to be such a phony. And, believe me, we are all phonies. We pretend to the extent that are maybe doing Oscar-worthy work.

But it is not applauded or appreciated or respected. Because we cannot be trusted AT ALL. We get to be authentic, but we do not need to act on that authenticity. I am always going to BE impatient. The best I can hope for is not to ACT impatiently. A huge world of difference takes place here.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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