PATIENCE MONTH: DAY 3: “There is a difference between knowing what is right and practicing what is right. It is not always easy. It requires patience, perseverance, and courage.” ― Akiroq Brost
This is a good quote. It sums up the way we are working to live in recovery. It takes more work to do the right thing, and less to do the expedient thing.
I am currently doing a lot of driving. I get to see the impatient folks on the road. I love to drive fast, but I don’t get up behind slower cars and try to push them out of my way. I let them know I would like to pass and then I let it go. I watch those who are so stressed and hurried that they get really aggressive and the driver in front may or may not begin to react to their attempts to push them along the highway.
This is so unattractive, it teaches me, again and again, that I don’t need to BE anywhere I am not in this moment. If I am late, there is nothing to do. If I am not late, there is nothing to do.
It does not matter. We all get where we need to be when we need to be there. The Universe goes on, and all is well. I don’t want to be that impatient, rude jerk I see so often in the world around me. It is ugly, and I don’t like that energy. I can get all caught up in that if I am not mindful.
Learning to do what I know is right should NOT be new for me in recovery, but it mostly is. I did not understand how much I went against my own knowledge of what was right or wrong until I began to look at you ass—– in my first inventory. Then Step 5 showed me that I had a part in it…duh! And then I got to see what was driving the behavior and the way I told the story to myself and the world. Oh! Now I can do what is right because I can.
It is funny how often others may disagree with what I believe to be the right thing. No matter. The right thing is (and always has been) written in my heart. That is where all truth lies for me. I have to access it by sitting quietly (and patiently) every time I become uncertain. After spending so many years listening, it is seldom that I do not instinctively know what to do next and next and next. This is the program we are working on.
I seldom have to question whether I am being self-serving or doing the right thing today. What I know is that it will be revealed if I am and no bother if I am not. Yay!