May 31

INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 31: “Live as you. It may seem simple and obvious. Yet, is it? How many times a day are we changing how we act or react to accommodate others? How often do we hide who we are? How many times do we try to fit in, conform or not ruffle anyone’s feathers? How many times are we aiming to please or appease others? Every time we change our behavior we are not living in our truth. We are not living life as ourselves. Whose life are we living then? Not our own. Time continues to pass by. No one is promised tomorrow. Would you rather people have a relationship with the real you, or a fake you which you present to the world? If the relationship is with a face that you’re wearing, then it is not your relationship. Quit hanging on to this idea that there is any expectation to be perfect. Do you expect others to be perfect? I’m guessing not. Neither are any others expecting perfection from you. It is time to accept ourselves as we are. It is time to practice self-forgiveness. We need to cut ourselves some slack. People make mistakes, it is normal. Making mistakes does not make you an unacceptable human being. It makes you human. Let go of your fear. Just be yourself, as you are. My bet is that people will appreciate you much more in your honesty, in your true form, as you are, than when you are suffocating yourself beneath pretense. It will be much easier to find like-minded people when they are able to find you. Live as you.” ― Akiroq Brost

Buddhists believe we suffer greatly in life, because of our false beliefs in self and the images of ourselves we hold on to. This is a cause of great suffering. Many spiritual traditions speak of the falseness that harms us and the delusions from which we suffer.

Learning to be integral and authentic is not only for those with whom we are in relationship. It is primarily for our highest and best good. We become someone we are interested in when we stop telling ourselves we are this or that if it is not true.

We become REAL. This is the most important part of recovery, for me. I am okay that you don’t like me because I DO! And that matters WAY more than your opinion of me or who you want me to be. I can live with this, because it is the only way I can learn to be integral within Kelly and with the heart space where that Universal Power lives.

The great delusion is who we try to project on the world around us. It does not matter, because no one is buying it anyway. We all know people who believe themselves to be something other than who and what we see in them. When we pay attention, we already see through their delusions and false faces. It is sad that the other person cannot.

This quote is one of my favorites, because it is all I hold to be truth about integrity and honor and authenticity. BE REAL, not who you think I need you or want you to be. That is all crap anyway. I love this stuff!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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