May 30

INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 30: “A true leader is still a leader even when he takes up servants’ duty, provided he maintains a human face and added integrity to his self-retained qualities.” ― Israelmore Ayivor

I question whether this one is more about integrity or humility. However, it was listed under integrity when I gathered my quotes, so I will use it here. Truth is, I am running out of quotes to write about that inspire me.

Sometimes I get fired up and get lots of good quotes at the beginning of a month and don’t really care for the ones that are left at the end. This is one of those months.

I am not sure if any of us are going to be leaders in a grand sense of the word. But, we are all leaders in some aspect. The primary way we lead others is in this recovery setting. We will always have less time than some and more time than others. This is a great balance for me. It keeps me both humble and integral.

Step 5 asks me to be a leader by owning my life and any rough patches I may have in relationships with others. I cannot get clear of this in any other way than admitting these things to myself, to God, and to another human being. I am tremendously grateful that I never sought those who would pat me on the shoulder and let me off the hook for my part in this.

I want to be fully responsible for all of it. The mess and the cleaning up of the mess. There is no shortcut or easy way to do this. I must own it all. While others may have done things that were not great, and I may have reacted to that, it is my job to see the beauty and purpose in this life.

I am happy to be able to do that. I did not always understand where my responsibility in this occurred. It is now very clear to me that it occurs in every instance where I begin to feel anger or put-out by another’s behavior or attitudes.

While they may be perfect a..holes, I am the one who is working to recover from how I react. It is not about them. I am here to stop being an a..hole. That is the key to this. I don’t get to continue to be nasty when others push my buttons. This is a very slow process.

I am happy to be working in this process. Many skip it completely. We can always tell. I don’t consider myself a leader, but I do consider myself to have much greater integrity than I used to have. I am happy to report that this is as good as I can be today.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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