April 19

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 19: “Acquaint yourself with your own ignorance.” ― Isaac Watts

I believe this is the key to remaining resilient, young, happy and free from so many of the character defects I got here living inside of. I am okay with NOT having answers and love to learn new things, new people, new situations and new ways of seeing things. I thrive on that learning.

I do not understand why we would get here and begin recovery with so much fear, clinging to broken old ideas and people and situations and ways of being in the world, when they are so obviously the source of our pain.

This, I suppose, is the thing that keeps us from truly growing into a spiritual place. We get to jump off cliffs and risk new relationships and new adventures all the time. Why on Earth would we sit and cry for what WAS when what is coming is so much greater?

One of my favorite quotes is that “What we lost is so small in comparison to what we are gaining NOW.” I love that. I have lost all my fear, most of it is gone! And I have lost a few people and I have lost things, lots of things.

But, I have gained new ideas, new opportunities, a new life that is changing and shifting all the time. I was amazed that the forecast was calling for rain today when we have been so sunny and warm for the last few days. SO, imagine my surprise this morning, when my yard had all been watered by the sky!!! Wow!

How cool is that? Of course, the Purple Screaming Monkeys told me it SUCKED because I washed my car the day before. Oh well! I will wash it again. Happens all the time. Hahahaha…I love that there are huge numbers of things I do not know.

I am happy to be ignorant in many things. I am happy to have the opportunity to learn and grow and develop into a wiser crone. (I really have to work with using that word.) It used to make me think of an ugly old witch. What it TRULY means is a wiser older woman past the age of child-bearing, which means menopause for you who do not get that. Oh, so I have been a crone since I was 38.

Crazy huh? We all have our areas of denial. I am grateful mine does not take me to the place of injections and surgical interventions in the goal of remaining young. I earned my wrinkles and my fat cells. I guess I will keep them. I don’t have time for that kind of vanity. There are other adventures I am here to have. Are you ready? Let’s go!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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