FAITH MONTH: DAY 30: “I learned that the search for God is a Dark Night, that Faith is a Dark Night. And that’s hardly a surprise really, because for us each day is a dark night. None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, and yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith.” ― Paulo Coelho
We all, addicts I mean, tend to be dramatic; especially in early recovery. We are so afraid and ego-bound that we cannot imagine life without gloom and doom, and lots of big emotions. Yikes! It is like the bottle gets uncorked and we are INTENSE.
As we work through the steps, we can become much less so. Intense anxiety is absolutely a formation of a need for work on steps. It is the singularly ego-centered belief that there are powerful forces at work to destroy our lives. There are! And they reside firmly inside our minds.
Having faith comes as we develop trust in the process of recovery. As we begin to grasp the notion that life is happening to ALL of us, and we can move out of our self-centered fear and begin to trust that the Universal Power is, indeed, a source of our highest growth and development.
We stop labelling and judging life and begin to live it with gratitude and grace. We get out of bed, hoping for a wonderful adventure in the day before us, and happy to be of service and alive another day. We begin to see ALL of life as miraculous and beautiful, even when we are walking through times that used to baffle and terrify us. This is all contained in the Promises, and many of us have not looked at OUR progress as the problem.
We rather like to believe it is the fault of the Universal Power that we are unhappy and unfulfilled. Those Super bowl tickets or a date with a handsome actor are the things that we REALLY need to be happy. And those beliefs, trust me, are the source of our true state of Dark Night.
Because those are not the things that are going to fulfill our spiritual growth and development. If we are not happy without them, we won’t be happy with them. It cannot happen.
We must walk through our interior darkness to find the light that lives in our hearts and spirits. The darkness we are so afraid of lives inside our minds…it is the Ego that has set out to lie to us, cheat us out of our sense of joy and gratitude, and keep us in self-destructive patterns of behavior. All the while, telling us it is THEIR fault. Step into the light…it is wonderful and fun here…and life is really, really good.