FAITH MONTH: DAY 7: “If faith never encounters doubt, if truth never struggles with error, if good never battles evil, how can faith know its own power? In my own pilgrimage, if I had to choose between a faith that has stared doubt in the eye and made it blink, or a naive faith that has never known the firing line of doubt, I will choose the former every time.” ― Gary Parker
This is right on! I would not want to have anything that has not been tested. I believe all of us are stronger for our struggles, pain, the exquisite bottoms we hit, and that this is the true measure of success.
I trust more those friends of mine who have truly gone to the depths of human emotion, because I know their struggle, their work ethic and their deep commitment to coming back to this side from the other one.
My early days were spent with some of the more advantaged recovering people. They had not lost all their financial wherewithal, nor had they lost their families and status in their community. I did not trust that they could possibly understand where I had come from or what I had done to practice my addiction or the places it had taken me.
I know, for sure, that what I have today, has all been a product of this thing, these steps, these principles, these beliefs, and this practice. I wouldn’t want it any other way. What I gave to the world before was trash, and that is what I got back.
It isn’t like that anymore. And the struggles I have faced here are lessened by the knowledge that what I have received here is impossible to lose unless I choose to throw it away. It cannot be taken from me, no matter what!
Overcoming the doubts of my early days, I know where I have been and where I am. I don’t have to prove that to anyone, but I do have to continue to share it. I would not want what is handed to me. I want to fight for it, to prove it is mine because I did the work to earn it, to wear it like a badge of honor.
I remember telling someone once, that I would never take one second off my bottom. Every moment has proven to be precious to me, because there was a teaching in it that informs my soul fully today. I know there are some things that look like mistakes to others, but you will never convince me of that. I love what I have, and every doubt or question or moment of uncertainty is a direct link to how it came to be.
I love this deal, I love Step 3, and I love what happens when we learn to shift our hell into Paradise, by the simple formula of working, living and practicing 12 spiritual principles.