March 3

FAITH MONTH: DAY 3: “Nobody can turn you into a slave unless you allow them. Nobody can make you afraid of anything unless you allow them. Nobody can tell you to do something wrong unless you allow them. God never created you to be a slave, man did. God never created division or set up any borders between brothers, man did. God never told you hurt or kill another, man did. So why is man your god, and not the Creator?” ― Suzy Kassem

I grew up with the threat of constant war. And then, Vietnam happened in my early teens until I was in my twenties. War was a constant thing, hanging over our lives. Along with that, there was the religious indoctrination I received from the time I was 3 or 4. I do not remember.

And I was taught to fear God and Communists. That early programming runs deep. I questioned the religious programming for most of my teens, along with the marching and protesting the war in Vietnam. When I got here, it was challenging to develop faith in anything.

I had so many experiences where I prayed for God to do something when I was a little girl. It never happened. I did not understand, but I was sure pissed. At God! It was a real struggle to even consider Step 3. I believed I had done this step and there was nothing there, wherever there is.

I love this quote, because my programming for many years enslaved me. I was the product of a family that was crazy and abusive in many ways. They were/are drunks too. Never got even 5 minutes of relief from their disease(s). So, I get it that they did the best they could. When I was about 3 years old, I saw that they were unfit to take care of me, but there was no one else, so I tried to pray, but it did not work, as I saw it then and for many years after.

Then, I got to the age of 12 or 13 and began to make life choices for myself. Some of those are interesting, to say the least. But I did the best I could also.

Our culture teaches us some very interesting ideas of what and who we are to worship and have faith in. The dollar sign is, of course, numero uno. That kind of faith is going to kick some butts, for sure. That kind of faith is killing our culture, our social structure, and allows for all kinds of characters to become leaders of our social structure. Enough said.

We go to war, to serve that culture. It doesn’t work. We violate the humanity of every person who serves. The indoctrination there is even greater than it is in our religious entities. Questions are not allowed, it must be blind obedience on both fronts.

That is terrifying to me. I don’t have blind faith. I had no faith at all when I came here. I hated and doubted and was angry as hell and killing myself, because I did not have another answer. A little at a time, I felt something new here. Hope and Love. And I began to believe that YOU believed. It was enough.

And you let me have permission to find what I needed. And I did. And I do. And it keeps growing and growing. Today I know my faith is the most precious thing I have because it took 500 million questions, thousands of hours of reading and sitting in meditation learning about the LOVE that exists in the creation of everything I can see. And I can accept today ALL OF IT. Every moment, every second, makes sense to me today. That took forever! And so, the investment is here with me now. I BELIEVE, and I KNOW that it is all amazing and wonderful and perfect. NO MATTER WHAT!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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