December 24

LOVE MONTH: DAY 24: “Silence the angry man with love. Silence the ill-natured man with kindness. Silence the miser with generosity. Silence the liar with truth.” – Buddha

What a wonderful quote for Christmas! And from Buddha…I love that spiritual concepts cannot be contained within a framework of manmade design.

Most of my life, I have resonated with Nature. Animals, trees, the ocean and mountains, cycles of the moon and astrological events. I believe that has something to do with my Celtic origins, but their teachings also resonate with me. I can see myself celebrating special occasions in the midst of a deep oak forest.

My personal path is varied, I love Buddhist, Native American, and Hindu teachings primarily. There is a sense of peace when I read the teachings of these cultures. Not all of them fit, but the combination is a good one for me. There is more focus on losing and smashing Ego than I find in other cultures and traditions.

That works, especially in this recovery setting, where I learn that my Ego must be smashed. Screaming Purple Monkeys did NOT want that sentence to be typed!

The best medicine I know is this; as stated in the quote. And it is very easily seen with children, who are just beginning to develop their Ego defenses and strengths.

When you have a raging child, hold them. That is love. When someone is very, very cranky, do something very kind for them. It shifts the energy completely. Even Scrooge (timely, right?) was touched and his heart (and the Grinch!) opened up by acts of generosity and love. And it is not necessary to call out someone who is lying. Just tell your truth repeatedly and they will learn to practice what you DO, not what you say or say to them.

Fear is the driver of all of these things. I am angry because I believe you did something to me or against me. I am ill-natured, because I believe I am not getting something I want or need and am going to suffer. I am miserly because I believe there is not enough to go around. I am a liar, because I believe it is the only way to get what I want or need from others.

These are all fear (EGO!) based ideas. We have them. Our culture feeds them. The challenge of recovery is to stop this kind of thinking. It has taken me years to recognize the ways my Ego wants to keep me living in fear. The crazy shit I believe about life is my only resistance to being open to it. Fear/Ego are the blocks to love.

Love is wonderful! I don’t need to buy it or get it to have it. In fact, it is a creation of the Universe and I am given a supply so large that I can give it and give it and give it and never run out. It does not come from ME. It comes from the Source of all that is.

And, when I spend some on you, you have less fear. This is the only way to heal the fear that lives between us. I cannot do that with money or sex or any other way. It is all about the love that heals our relationship.

Love gives me an unending supply of energy that grows the more I give it away. Just like recovery! I love that! The more I spend with you, the more I get in me. Now, that is my kind of energy!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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