November 10

GRATITUDE MONTH: DAY 10: “What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.” ― Brené Brown

When you meet a grateful person, you know it. There is no moment when you are not certain of their gratitude or faith that they are gifted.

Being around people who are entitled is so uncomfortable. They believe they have everything they want coming to them, for nothing. They do not understand the concept of earning things, nor do they understand what disappointment looks like. They become enraged and nasty when they do not get their way. And usually, this should happen immediately.

Sadly, addicts, by virtue of their nature, are entitled. They are impatient, rude and sometimes quite nasty. That is the sad reality I believe we are here to recover from. Step 11 teaches me to sit still. I may ask, in prayer, for something; but I must sit still in meditation to receive. Most of the time, I find that the answer to my requests is NOT NOW.

That can be disappointing. My job, in recovery, is to learn to take disappointment well. It is not my default setting. Culturally, we are programmed to a pretty strong degree, to be impatient. This is not the way life works. Life is often, and in my experience, more often than not, disappointing. The good stuff takes time.

It took me many years of recovery to become suitable for the relationship that changed my life. I did not know then the impact it would have on my future; but I can tell you today, it was huge! Everything that exists in my life today came from that relationship. I needed a tremendous amount of preparation for it to be exactly what it was.

This is so freeing. To know that the best stuff comes when I wait. I am not a big fan of waiting, any more than anyone else I know around here. I have just accepted that it is the will of the Power that created this whole deal.

I am okay with that. I almost hear a voice, when I am meditating, that says: “Just wait, honey. The good stuff is on its way.” And I know it is absolutely true, every time!

The good part is that I can also spend the waiting time by looking around and seeing how much good stuff is already here! That is how gratitude works. I look around and see the beauty and the miracles and the grace and I become overwhelmed with love and joy.

Then whatever I believe I have to wait for is nothing compared with what already IS! I love this shit!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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