October 29

DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 29: ‎”If there is no discipline, there is anarchy. Good citizenship demands attention to responsibilities as well as rights.” ― Joe Clark

This month, discipline month, I have NOT written on 2 separate days. I have made conscious decisions to not write those days, due to what other things were going on.

I have maintained this writing, no matter what, over the course of the last 3 years. While it brings a great deal to me, I also recognize that some days I feel that I am “phoning it in,” so I have allowed myself to NOT do it twice this month.

I have no story around that. Yesterday, a friend was here, so I opted to hang out with her, rather than do this. It was okay. I am relaxing around my rigid disciplines somewhat. Quite frankly, I don’t know that anyone notices that I do or do not do this at any particular moment. It does not truly matter, either way. I do this for fun and for free and will do it or not do it when it feels right.

So, being disciplined, I am here today. My lapses are not long, and seldom create any kind of trouble like in the old days. I just choose something else.

Because these writings ground ME in the steps and principles, I love doing them. I have chosen not to do them when they don’t flow. Sometimes I force myself to sit down, and the flow comes from there. I am not being paid by the page, so it is hard to have the kind of discipline other writers give themselves.

I am still playing with this concept as it applies to this. I once had myself convinced I needed to post my writings before 8 am because I went hiking at 9 am. Now I do them as late as 12:00 noon, like today, because that is the time my life allows for.

I guess this is what anarchy feels like. Most of the people who read these will read this one on Monday morning, because it comes so late in the day. It is interesting for me to consider how they flow out into the world from my little casa to yours.

And then, other days, I am completely disconnected from any readers. I do not know how many do or do not read them. It matters not. What matters most, to me, is that I have a forum for expression and that, occasionally, someone connects. Okay… that is it!

I do not feel responsible to these folks, just to myself that this commitment continues until I am done with it. I don’t know how that will look or when it will be. I don’t even understand, fully, this process. I just know that it makes me feel good to do this, most days. We will see. Discipline is definitely a process for me. How about you?

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s