October 4

DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 4: “Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.” ― Abraham Joshua Heschel

We gain self-respect and self-worth through the performance of consistent, dedicated acts. Sometimes we tell ourselves a story around why we are not going to do what we know we need to do.

That is a lack of discipline. I always know what is right. I love the creative ways my addict brain likes to come up with those stories.

I want to be disciplined around those things that bring me satisfaction in the doing. Funny how they are the same things my purple screaming monkey says NO to.

Step 10 is the one step that brings me the most satisfaction when it is performed regularly and with consistency. If I do what Allene taught me all those years ago, I read pages 86, 87 and 88 each evening and answer the questions out loud. Those were her exact instructions, and I can hear her voice making that simple statement of how to remain planted firmly in the program and the solution.

And that is, to the best of my willingness, the discipline I still perform. Ability, for me, is not the issue, it is always about my willingness to grow and to become the person I truly respect and see the worth in.

You may believe things about me that I know are not exactly true. I don’t need to do things to make you think well of me. I need to do them so I think well of me and know who I am, what I am doing, and how I am doing it.

So, I say no to myself a lot. It is a good practice. And some of the things my SPM come up with still astonish me!

There are always new areas for me to work on. This is crucial. There is never a resting point where I am done or where I can just kick back and take a breather. I will always strive to be better and better at doing these things. Because I love the results.

We are so blessed to have the outlines of this thing so clearly developed and mapped out for us. We can access this gift in so many simple and lovely ways. Just by reading the literature, going to meetings, sharing with a sponsor and each other. It is wonderful and simple and FREE!

And in the process, we become wonderful and simple and FREE too. I really love that part. And the discipline becomes a joyful habit, done daily and more so when needed. What a tremendous blessing it all becomes!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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