April 7

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 7: “A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.” ― William James

Yeah, or spouting someone else’s…I am guilty of thinking about things most folks never consider. It is fun when I am talking to others…they often get a look on their face; like…”Why on earth do you think of these things???”…and often ask that question. I am a philosopher and ponderer…I question everything, just like Einstein said. I have always been this way…and it is no coincidence that I was completely in tune with the 60s…our ability to raise all the hard questions and rebel against the accepted norms and continue to voice our disagreement with rules that made no sense….protesting against things that hurt others. I remember sitting in class in 2009 and talking with a professor in MSW classes and saying…”I have been a social rebel since I was 5 or 6 years old when I broke all the animals out of the animal shelter and took them home.” My social conscience and desire to fight for what is right are huge. What is also important is that I have learned NOT to fight for others, but to empower them to fight for themselves. This is a huge difference that many social reformers miss the boat on. Recovery is a place where I can get mine, but you must get your own. I will stand by you and show you how I did it, but I am NOT going to do it for you. It is NOT going to transfer from me to you if you sit next to me at a meeting…you hafta get your own…plain and simple. I loved the old man I met early on who told me that “In AA, we will walk through hell with you if you are here to recover; but if you’re not, you gotta go to hell alone.” Bet he knew more about Alanon than he knew he knew. Those who are here to teach the path of chronic relapse show me that it ain’t what you know around here that keeps you in your seat, it’s how you walk with what you know. That is why this quote resonates with me…those are the most likely folks to spout all the BS you learn in meetings without ever really getting down to the deal. I do not now, nor have I ever, understand what the key is that turned in the lock of my brain when I got here…if I did, I would market it so everyone can have this thing…it is so sad to work in the field and be just as powerless over addiction as anyone ever was…I meet so many lovely people who have to do the horrible research and relapse cycle. All I know is that I have to become completely willing to be transparent and authentic…and that honesty is the only key I know of that always opens the locks…

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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