September 9


“The only freedom which deserves the name is that of pursuing our own good in our own way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it.” — John Stuart Mill

The dysfunctional relationships in addiction take place for many long after the drugs and alcohol are gone. I believe the steps are the bridges we build to others in order to have healthier relationships with them. That begins with Step 4 and ends with Step 10.

As we do this, we begin to find our own identity apart from those people. We focus on OUR recovery and begin to become less dysfunctional in expectations and demands on others, allowing everyone to have their own lives.

This creates the space for us to come to a spiritual relationship with that Universal Power, because we are able to see that humans do not have the capacity to be that.

While we are codependently involved with others, we are demanding and selfish and scared. Ego runs the day. We manipulate and attempt to control others to feel better and safer in the world around us. It never works and resentment and emotional illness results.

As we grow less dependent on others and their dependence on us lessens, we can become fully self-integrated and whole emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I love that!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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