COURAGE MONTH: DAY 22: “Courage is holding on one minute longer than everyone else. Courage is stepping forward when every fiber of your being says step back. Courage is being willing to do the impossible because it is the right thing to do.”― Blaine Pardoe
We all have Ego. Everyone. Some of us learn to master its voice when it is screaming out to “Be afraid. Life is going to get you and hurt you in ways you cannot imagine.”
Those who have experienced trauma, especially if it comes from childhood experiences, have an over-developed dependence on the skills acquired by Ego for protection. When we use drugs and alcohol on top of those defenses, life is terribly unsatisfying and painful.
Recovery asks us to drop those defenses and learn real coping mechanisms that are functional and appropriate. Not everyone knows this difference. They may remain defensive and touchy for far longer than others. This is from trauma. There is a great deal of insight that can be gained from long-term recovery and the habitual practice of working through and recognizing OUR part in these inappropriate and immature ways of life.
That is what this quote is saying to me. That I continue to have the kind of recovery that digs deeply into the healing of that traumatized brain. It is the work of a lifetime, not once and done like so many believe with the steps and ongoing recovery. It is a lifelong process of real work to master the seemingly “impossible” as stated above. It never ends, nor does it get easier. It is more comfortable as I go on because it is something that brings much greater happiness than I see in those who are hanging on to life by their fingertips and toenails. That is my idea of misery and I don’t do these things to stay miserable. I believed that book when it said, “Happy, Joyous, and Free.” I want to always be THERE.