June 25

HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 25: “In key situations, he can’t get himself to concern himself with getting the job done instead of how it looks. There’s a certain freefall you go through when you commit yourself without a guarantee that it’s always going to be good. There’s a trust and commitment thing that has to allow yourself to fail, allow yourself to be embarrassed, allow yourself to be vulnerable”― Tom Verducci

I have a friend who is obsessed with doing things “right” and having them come out to be what he deems “perfect.” I understand that dynamic. It is something we do when we are trying to prove that we are adequate.

This comes only from a belief that we are less than adequate and must prove ourselves time and time again. I owned that for a big chunk of my life. It was the overpayment of my skills to appear to be okay and legitimate in the eyes of others because I did not believe it within myself. My insecurity and inadequacy was tremendous. That is no longer the case for me. I can do many things imperfectly and enjoy them. That took forever to get to.

I remember a boss of mine once told me I worked twice as hard as everyone else just to feel “okay”, like I had to do that to just be even with others. Yikes! It was a slap in the face for me because it SO resonated. I did not understand how arrogant that was, how self-centered it is to believe I have to be perfect to be acceptable. Not true.

Universal Power has NEVER deemed me unworthy. No matter how big a failure or success, I am loved and graced every day…just because I am. No more, no less. My breath is the gift I receive for fun and for free. All the good in my life comes not through any hard work or achievements on my part, but just because I am. That is the reason I claim loudly and freely that I am “God’s favorite kid.” We all are, but we are always forgetting that.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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