HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 25: “In key situations, he can’t get himself to concern himself with getting the job done instead of how it looks. There’s a certain freefall you go through when you commit yourself without a guarantee that it’s always going to be good. There’s a trust and commitment thing that has to allow yourself to fail, allow yourself to be embarrassed, allow yourself to be vulnerable”― Tom Verducci
I have a friend who is obsessed with doing things “right” and having them come out to be what he deems “perfect.” I understand that dynamic. It is something we do when we are trying to prove that we are adequate.
This comes only from a belief that we are less than adequate and must prove ourselves time and time again. I owned that for a big chunk of my life. It was the overpayment of my skills to appear to be okay and legitimate in the eyes of others because I did not believe it within myself. My insecurity and inadequacy was tremendous. That is no longer the case for me. I can do many things imperfectly and enjoy them. That took forever to get to.
I remember a boss of mine once told me I worked twice as hard as everyone else just to feel “okay”, like I had to do that to just be even with others. Yikes! It was a slap in the face for me because it SO resonated. I did not understand how arrogant that was, how self-centered it is to believe I have to be perfect to be acceptable. Not true.
Universal Power has NEVER deemed me unworthy. No matter how big a failure or success, I am loved and graced every day…just because I am. No more, no less. My breath is the gift I receive for fun and for free. All the good in my life comes not through any hard work or achievements on my part, but just because I am. That is the reason I claim loudly and freely that I am “God’s favorite kid.” We all are, but we are always forgetting that.