July 16

HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 16: “Our greatest wisdom comes in knowing our own ignorance.”― Michael Corthell

I remember my first amends-making foray. I was told to use the words, “I was wrong.” Omg! What a tough time I had with that. Like coughing up a hairball…yikes!

This comes easier with time. Just like saying, “I don’t know.” One teacher I engaged with told me to not respond to things right away, since I can be a tad (?!) impulsive…and then to say, “Let me think about that and get back to you.” Oh? Interesting when I remember to do it. Otherwise, I often get to go back to that person and say, “I was wrong to act on this.” Ugh!

I was a very smart little girl, and that opened doors for me that felt like freedom. I used that intelligence to navigate and figure out a world that made no sense then, and less now. I just did not know that it was okay NOT to know.

I am better every day with this. There are times when I want so badly to jump in and say what is going on in my mind or heart, either way. But I have learned to say less and let it all be as it is. Once in a great while I get to respond, but most of the time, there is nothing for me to do or say. Can you believe that? I don’t always myself. And I can actually say NOTHING once in a great while, too. It is powerful!

I can know that I may be the smartest person in the room, but not know what others know about any given idea or topic. What a revelation that one is! And I love this whole thing…recovery feels like growing up after the wrinkles and gray hair showed up. And it gets better all the time.