February 23

HOPE MONTH: DAY 23: “You couldn’t erase the past. You couldn’t even change it. But sometimes life offered you the opportunity to put it right.”― Ann Brashares

This quote could easily be used for Step 9 or 10. But I like it here because I did not know that I wanted to make things right when I first got into recovery. I think that, like most addicts who are new to the whole idea, I was shocked and horrified when reading the steps…especially Steps 4 and 9. Oh HELL NO!

Haha…I did, however, like the idea of a more satisfying way of cleaning up my messes than just saying I was sorry, or as a kid raised in Catholicism, going to confession. Although I did not really understand the difference for a long time.

I did feel hopeful about turning my life into something that felt better than it did when I got here. I loved the fact that others met me in meetings and were hopeful on my behalf. That had not happened in a long time. Everyone who knew me knew what a train wreck I was on my way here, no doubt about it. They were NOT hopeful that I could be different than I was, or that I wanted to be. I was not sure myself.

But hope is a wonderful thing. I got it from the recovering people I met. I identified with their horrible lives prior to recovery and began to believe it might just happen for me, too. I did not want to change my past, but I really wanted to change my right now and my future. And look, it happened! Wow!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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