LOVE MONTH: DAY 18: “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”― Sharon Salzberg
We seldom know how to love ourselves. This is the practice, for me, of the steps. I cannot come to love you before I love and honor me. As I learn to love and honor myself first, the unconditional love of that Higher Power must come into play.
There are a lot of folks in recovery who are just not there. They cannot let go of those things that demonize them and condemn them to a life of no love. For themselves. They cannot accept the love of anyone else either. Why is that? Because they have judged themselves and believe they are unworthy of love. They truly sit in more Ego than others.
We cannot out-judge Universal Power and consider ourselves unlovable when that Power has gifted us with the grace of this path. If I have truly been restored to sanity, I recognize that I cannot judge myself if that Power has not. Who the f____ do I think I am?
When the Power has found me worthy of Grace, I cannot say I am not. That is the epitome of arrogance and Ego. Yuk! And yet, millions of addicts in so-called recovery relapse for this very reason. They do not find themselves worthy. Really? Yes, really!
You cannot proclaim your love of anyone or anything above yourself. That is the way this thing works. If you are not worthy of this work, then who the hell is? And how the hell can you decide yourself unworthy when the Power says you are? You would not be here if Power had not deemed you worthy of this recovery. Yet, most will never reach the true meaning of Step 12. That is very sad. But the reason for the small numbers of addicts with time and true recovery. Most just continue to live in Ego and are so horribly miserable. No thanks!