November 16

GRATITUDE MONTH: DAY 16: “The Tao Te Ching says, “The enemy is a shadow you yourself cast.” The shadow wanders our unregarded hours where we hold resentments, where we are lost, when there is nothing and no one to blame, though we keep on blaming. I often wonder what is the light that hits the ego, casting out the shadow? It is gratitude. And if the ego is gone, as it is when we are truly grateful, there is no one to cast a shadow. We can replace blame with gratitude—in any circumstance. Blame builds up walls around the self and points only outward. Gratitude opens the heart, dissolves the self, and points everywhere.”― Terrance Keenan

Most people do not recognize their enormous resentments or how they place blame. When you ask an addict about resentments, they often deny having them. Yet, in a conversation, they will repeatedly state their resentments and blame, about which they are completely clueless.

I find this fun to point out to those with whom I work. The victim mentality of most people is so strong in our culture. We feel prey to everything. Ask someone why they don’t do this work or go to meetings or take care of themselves. The same refrain is repeated again and again…”I’m too busy.” They don’t see the blame or victim stance in this. Yet, it is all there. They blame the world and the Universe and time itself for their lack of responsibility for their own actions! We are not victims of the clock. We all make choices about what we do with our 24 hours. And everyone can be just as busy as they want to. Making poor choices does not mean that you get to be victimized by life.

Own your shit! Admit that you have poor time-management skills and maybe learn to fit the important stuff in. Everyone works, or has for most of their lives. And everyone has housework, most have kids, most have laundry and grocery shopping as well. Time management means we learn to do all the things that life brings and still take care of meeting the needs we have for good health and spiritual fulfillment. If you don’t know how, get help. Stop being in the shadow of your self-fulfilling prophecy and blame.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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