November 14

GRATITUDE MONTH: DAY 14: “Thanking is a form of payment that exponentially pays forward both personally and professionally. People are far more likely to collaborate with, hire, or refer a grateful person than an ungrateful one.”― Richie Norton

Have you ever worked for someone who took full credit for the labor of their employees? I have. It is so unsatisfying to know that you are doing great work and receiving no credit, nor do they ever thank people. We all know some who are this way. Is this how we behave as well?

If not, then we have learned from those ungracious teachers. This is a great lesson. I worked for someone like this for a great many years. He actually cried on the day I was leaving. He asked me if there was anything he could have done to keep me there. I looked him straight in the eye and said, “You just need to say Thank You sometimes.” From what I gather, he did not get that lesson. I know several people who have worked with him since that time. Sad.

It is easy to justify being an ungracious person. We have expectations that people will do things, maybe with employees because we pay them. That IS the agreement after all. However, it is never good to expect and expect and expect high levels of performance without some sign of gratitude. It always inspires and uplifts others to be recognized for ongoing good work. As stated so beautifully in this quote.

Or because they are family. I have heard some real crap being held out as truth regarding familial obligations and expectations. Things are said like, “Family is everything.” Not so. Many families are too toxic to exist. It may be the work of a lifetime to disengage from those families. Another one that I hear from a LOT of clients is that “Families DO for one another.” High level of expectation there. Also the deeply sown seed of brutal codependency. Do what? How much? How often? This is a terrible thing to hold onto…toxic as hell.

If we have become entitled and ungrateful, it is not going to feed our spirit of the spirits of those around us. It is time to wake up and be mindful of how demanding and rude that is. Thank everyone, all the time. Sincerely think of others and do things that they don’t even know about. Surprises, simple cards and letters, or do a neighbors’ shopping for them when you go. Be kind and generous. The more we do this, the better we feel. And people will begin to resonate with us more deeply.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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