October 30

DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 30: “There is tremendous satisfaction in working your tail off to hit a goal, then winning. It is worth the work.”― Dave Ramsey

There is no real “goal” in this thing. It is all a process. But there are significant markers along the way. They are miracles in my book. I have had so many since the first day.

But the biggest miracle of all is the first day…the minute we let go of whatever has held us together in addiction and consider, just for one moment, the idea that Step 1 is a possibility for us.

There are so many questions, doubts, fears, and so much Ego to do battle with along the way. So many!

And we get to that first 30-day chip and then each one from there is a greater and greater miracle. The life we get to live is increasingly more comfortable, peaceful, joyful, and filled with grace. Isn’t that lovely?

I don’t know when I began to feel that this was a permanent way of life. I truly just pretended I wanted it to be in the beginning. I was terribly uncertain that it even could be for me. I don’t know why I had so many times of disbelief and uncertainty, but I did. And I waited for the ZAP! that I was sure was coming to knock me down and wake me up drunk or loaded, coming out of yet another blackout. Did not happen. And then, one day, I stopped that line of thinking. I don’t remember what day it was…it just came, and it has been a long time now since I had that feeling or thought.

What a beautiful way to live it is! And I never did let up on this thing. I work every day just as hard as I did in those scary times. Whatever I have is too beautiful to let go of, even for a minute. So I won’t!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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