October 24

DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 24: “Talent is insignificant. I know a lot of talented ruins. Beyond talent lie all the usual words: discipline, love, luck, but, most of all, endurance.”― James Baldwin

An interesting thing about this quote today. I was thinking about writing and a few other things for which I have some talent.

However, I seem to have lost interest in many of the things that Ego is involved with. For instance, I exercise a certain amount each day, but not like I once did when I had to stay a perfect size 1 or 2. It no longer matters, age has given me that peace. I mostly care about staying healthy. The rest is no longer relevant.

Or, at one point, I was determined to publish all the writings I have done over the years. I no longer really care about that. It is not a goal. I still write because it is enjoyable to me. I don’t really care to be published nor do I want acknowledgment from the world around me.

I do the things that I am disciplined to do because they feed my spirit. Or because the life I have is enhanced by those things. My emotional, physical, and mental well-being are made greater by the life I live. And that matters more to me than looking good or being impressive in any way to others.

The demands of the Ego used to mean that I had to maintain a physical appearance that meant makeup and hair products and nail products and a specific wardrobe that were all very high maintenance. I remember the days when I had to wear pantyhose or tights every day to work.

Now I am lucky if I ever get out of yoga pants and hoodies. That is the new uniform. I do not know what this has to do with Step 10, but it came to me, so I went with it. I do believe that in every way, both life itself and the aging process take us closer to the things that make us more authentic and honest with ourselves and the world around us. I love that.

I know that I consume almost nothing that is plastic any more. I work very hard to keep my consumption down and my support of the natural world around me more of a priority. That certainly matters to me. I am making daily amends to the planet I inhabit for any and all of the damage and abuse that the world has suffered at the hands of people. As I have gone through this process, I know that what I do matters more and more. I am mindful of it all. And the looking good part matters less and less, along with the part of having to live in a way that harms the environment.

I have not flown on a plane in a very long time. I don’t know that I ever will again. Maybe, but I need to go less and do less today. From someone who once worked as an airline attendant.

This is what maturity looks like. Did not know I would ever get there, but I see the signs. It is a good thing. And I am happier than I have ever been. That, to me, is the measuring stick.