FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 28: “Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.”― Shannon L. Alder
I don’t believe I will ever be completely free from comparison. Maybe. I am a great deal less attached to it than I once was. I know I use myself as the barometer, comparing my past behaviors with who I work to be today.
When I am really uncomfortable with someone, it is because, every time, they are doing what I once did and have had to give up. It is the damnedest thing! I dislike their way of being and immediately get to see why. Oh! So, I still do that kind of comparison. They are a mirror. Often they are showing me that I am still not quite done with an ugly defect that I remain in practice with. So they become another teacher…now don’t THAT piss us off?
I will say, though, that this happens less and less often as this process becomes more and more a way of life. We get to heal in so many wonderful ways when we are willing to. But willingness is only as good as the work that we put into that. Saying I am willing does not produce one iota of change. I am kidding myself when I think it will. And because I sometimes feel that motivating pain come up, it will only remain as willingness a short time. I have seen THAT one a lot, too.
Desperation is wonderful, but it wears off very quickly. So I never pray for others to be desperate. I only pray for them to be honest. If we can get honest, we can do this, a day at a time, for life.
And I have become the character I always knew was inside me. She was terrified to come out and I was terrified to let her. Today I no longer care what others think. I am free! I am happy! And I am joyous…wasn’t that the goal?