August 13

COURAGE MONTH: DAY 13: “Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty.”― Thomas Jefferson

I know the context of this quote is about the revolution. I love the tone, because it applies to all of those who want others to tell them what to do and how to be and run their lives for them. The willing slaves in this world who are too afraid to stand up and be themselves.

The intentional slaves, or victims, who refuse to take responsibility for their own lives and own their own self-hood. There is no recovery in this stance, no identity, no worth or respect or any principled behavior on their part. It is, in my view, sheer laziness and not the stuff true heroes are made of.

There will never be an end to their rage and their pain, they choose it over letting go of their fear. I do not believe there is any recovery in this stance, nor is there going to be.

I have been learning about how an injury that heals without the proper care is worse than the injury itself. The scar tissue that accumulates can turn into a frozen joint that is incapable of movement without having to learn how to tear the scar tissue away from the joint and begin to heal it in a useful manner. That is what we do here in recovery.

We tear away the crippling fear and stories to heal. We walk upright like men and women, with our heads held high because we are doing the work. We don’t wait for others to tell us what to do, we are doing it. We figure out what needs to be done next in our lives to clean up our shit and we “get ‘er done.”

Because of my strengths in this matter of healing, the incredible force of nature that lives within in me to survive and flourish, no matter what, I am a warrior for healing. That is my gift. It is not for others to hitchhike on, but to emulate. I won’t do it for them, nor will I drag them along behind me. That, too, is a fierce need to show how it is done, by example. But you either do it for yourself or find your own way alone. I am not here to be a despot.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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